When a child is struggling to cope with everyday life or feels overwhelmed by fear and worry, it can be challenging for parents to know what to do. Often, they just want their children to be happy and believe they will eventually get through the anxiety with time and maturity. But, when the anxiety is out of control and does not respond to normal parenting techniques, it can be a sign of an anxiety disorder.
Symptoms of anxiety disorders include sweaty palms, heart palpitations, an increased heart rate and a racing mind, to name a few. In addition, children who experience anxiety disorders are likely to show a pattern of avoiding things that trigger their symptoms or to engage in compulsive behaviors. Children with anxiety disorders may also struggle in school, at home or in social situations, including family gatherings and doctor’s visits.
Anxiety is common, and some kids have minor anxiety that goes away on its own over time. But, if your child’s anxiety persists and does not respond to the normal parenting tools you have tried, it is time for them to see a mental health clinician who specializes in treating anxiety and related conditions.
One of the best ways to help your child overcome their anxiety is to provide support and be present. For example, if your child is worried about an upcoming exam or a visit to the doctor, let them know that you will be there for them and reassure them that their feelings are normal.
Another way to help your child manage their anxiety is to teach them relaxation skills, such as deep breathing. It’s a good idea to practice these with them during calm times, and you can do this by having them count breaths or taking them to a place that helps them relax, such as a favourite spot in nature or where they have been on holiday.
In addition to teaching your child relaxation techniques, it is important to set aside a regular time to talk with them about what’s going on in their lives and listen to how they feel. This can be as simple as a monthly or weekly “date” where you do something fun together. It is also helpful for tweens and teens to have a trusted adult they can confide in.
While we all want our kids to be happy, when a child’s anxiety is out of control, it can actually make them less happy in the long run. The key is to help them learn to manage their anxiety rather than trying to eliminate it, as this will actually make it more intense over time.
Childhood should be a happy and carefree time, but for too many children today it is stressful and fraught with anxieties and fears. In this revised and updated edition, childhood anxiety disorder expert Tamar Chansky teaches you the tools you need to help your child break free from their fears and worries so they can enjoy a more fulfilling and productive life.